Let me start off by saying that this might get a little risque. But I need to express myself in this way, and tell you exactly what I want to do to you. My heart demands it of me, and to deny my Heart's desire, would be the same as withholding the very air I need to breathe. And in that denial, I would be betraying the very essence of my existance.
And so I shall endeavor to ease some of the longing within my breast, even though I may be torturing my body and soul with no relief in sight. What I reveal to you now, comes from deep within, and I know it sounds incredibly obsessed, but I can no longer run from this. And I no longer wish to deny myself my guilty pleasures.
Sometimes as I lay in my bed waiting for slumber to overtake me, or even as I am first awakening with the morning sun, the thought of you overwhelms me. And as I lay there, alone, my body begins to ache deeply inside. But I cannot seem to stem the flow of my imaginings.
The way you look, barely remembered, the gentlest of hint of the way you have touched me in my dreams, and of the barest whisper of a sweet nothing echoing in a faded dream. All of these things bring to me such fevered images, and my arousal is instant, and demanding.
And so I fantasize, allowing myself to think of you, and to bring myself to the point of that 'little death'.
I picture these images of what might be, while my hands wander over my skin, in imitation of the way your hands have wandered in my dreams. No words are needed. And I think of what my hands and body will communicate to you when we finally meet. We are in a room, where does not matter, nor does anything else, as we lock gazes, and the barest of smiles crosses your features.
Those same features I have dreamed of millions of times. And I smile in return. You are so beautiful to me, and I watch as you hold out your hand to me, in invitation. And slowly my hand reaches out to you, in acceptance. And without ever realizing how, the distance between us is no more.
The feel of your hand gently encompassing my own, is as if you had caressed me already, and a spark of desire ignites within my soul. But all I want to do for now is look at you.
My eyes follow your features, from the way your hair flows from your head and lays in such a way as to perfectly frame your face, to your incredible eyes. The same eyes I have become lost in everytime I have imagined them. So full of mystery, and happiness to see me, they shine now like a beacon drawing me ever closer to you. And as I gazed into them, they darkened with a passion so intense I knew that the same spark of desire has ignited within you.
I reluctantly move my gaze to your nose, and the image of the adorable way it turns up at the end when you laugh, flits thru my mind causing me to smile a little more. And my gaze travels to your mouth. And here I pause for what seems to be a very long time, and unconsciously I wet my lips with the tip of my tongue, I briefly wonder how they will feel against mine.
Had I looked into your eyes again, I would have noticed the way your gaze was following mine, and the resulting deepening of your breathing as my tongue peeked out and teased you with the promise of passion to come.
Involuntarily, my free hand ascends to your face to lightly trace the path my eyes have just taken, a gentle reassurance that you are really here in front of me, and that I am not dreaming again. I feel the smoothness of your skin, drinking in this sensation as if I were quenching a lifetime of thirst.
The warmth of you penetrating my senses quickly and deeply, and as my fingertips reach and begin to explore the feel of your mouth, my own lips part and my breathing becomes erratic. My eyes drift closed at the thought that soon, very soon, I would finally know the feel of them against mine.
My fingers wander upwards a little as my eyes reopen, never realizing that my heart is now racing in anticipation, and in that most secret of places, I have become damp with the evidence of my desire.
I slip my hand over your cheek, around behind your ear, lingering while I play with your earlobe for just a moment, and then cup the back of your neck.
I use this placement to allow me to move closer to you and I breathe in deeply, your scent filling me up and reminding me of all the times I have allowed myself to indulge in the guilty pleasuring of my own personal urges.
I feel your hand leave mine, and I mometarily feel a pang of loss, only to feel your hands coming around me to rest lightly on my back, as if to capture me, and hold me there.
And still you pull me ever closer to you, and I gladly allow you to do so. And as I lean back slightly to look into your eyes again, I am fully aware of your hand gliding upwards and around to cup my own face with your hand. And a soft whimper of need whispers passed my lips as you lower your mouth to mine.
How soft and warm your lips feel as they barely brush my own, and then pause as if to savor this first meeting. The fire within my blood deepens and ignites with this small touch, and it begins to spread thru me like a wildfire, racing wildly along my every nerve, and I come alive as it settles in the very core of my most feminine being.
Never did I imagine this first kiss to be so intense, and I feel as if I might perish with the blistering heat of your touch. Greedily, I pull you closer to me, running my tongue ever so gently along the line of your mouth. And again I cannot believe how this one simple touch, a kiss I have longed for, forever, can feel so wonderful, and so inflamatory at the same time.
And then you gently mate your tongue with mine and I could not even breathe. I wanted to stay here, lost in this moment, and never leave, but the urging I felt then drove me to deepen our contact. I could not seem to get close enough.
And reluctantly I broke our kiss. Only to spy a chair behind us, and with a mischeivious grin, I moved my hands to your chest, and began guiding you back towards it. Step by step, until I had you exactly where I wanted you. And with a little push, I sat you down.
I should have known you had allowed me to do this, as you pulled me down into your lap, but I just couldn't seem to feel any regret about that little fact. Not even when I saw a little devilish grin of your own.
And I moved to kiss you again, hopefully conveying to you what I was feeling. Never noticing I was straddling your lap, even tho' we were still fully clothed, until my hips began moving of their own accord against you.
>And I knew you could feel my heat, and my dampness. Just as I could feel the proof of your desire pressing against me. Oh, how I have burned for that very touch.
I move my mouth from yours, even tho' I cannot seem to get enough of kissing you, and very lightly I press tiny, desperate touches of my lips all over your face, finally reaching the earlobe, and I begin to suckle upon it for moment, and finally moving down the side of your neck.
I can feel the fierce pounding of your heart, and it feels wonderful against my lips, for it tells me, more than words could, of your desire for me. And as much as I want to return to the delectable warmth of your mouth, there is something I want to do even more.
So I begin to ease my way down to your chest, my fingers making themselves busy with the unfasting of your shirt. And as each button comes undone, I gently swipe my tongue over the exposed skin, making sure I have touched every part with my mouth. Sometimes kissing, sometimes just pressing my cheek against you in adoration.
As I work my way lower I become frustrated, and slowly slip myself down to the floor in front of you, in order to better reach you. And my gaze drops to locate that part of you which I desire.
With a little help from you, your belt comes unfastened, and then slowly, I undo the button, and ease down the zipper, to expose you to my sight, in all of your glorious arousal.
And I admit, I had to take a moment to still my rapidly beating heart. And that my hands were shaking slightly with the force of my passion.
With a quick indrawn breath, I glance up quickly at you, your eyes almost mesmerizing in their intensity, as you take in my reaction, and wait patiently to see what I would do next.
And I think I did not dissappoint you either. I reached out tentatively to allow my hand to envelop you fully. And I began to caress you. I could not believe how wonderful you felt there in my hand, both soft as velvet, yet hard as steel. And I felt my own desire spike in response as you made your first tiny sound of pleasure.
I looked again to find that you had dropped your head back against the chair, to fully enjoy my touch upon you, and I quickly took advantage of this. I eased my face toward you, and once again inhaled deeply.
I wanted to imprint your scent upon my soul, and revel in the decadent sensations coursing thru me. I wanted to enjoy this moment as I tasted of you for the very first time.
And taste of you I did. Touching my tongue to the very tip of you, I slowly savored the drop of passion suspended there, and yet another one as it appeared, before I completely engulfed you in the warmth of my mouth.
The tenseness of the muscles in your legs beneath my other hand testifying to the amount of pleasure you were feeling, along with harshness of your breathing told me everything I needed to know.
And you allowed me to have my way with you, for as long as you could. And I gave no quarter. I took you with my mouth, in the only way I could take you, and you placed your trust in me to do this to you.
Allowing me to hear your passion, and vulnerabilty, until finally you could take no more. I felt you pushing me away from that part of you I have been adoring, and you stood, pulling me to my feet.
With a quick look around, you swept me up into your arms and carried me out of that room, and deposited me gently onto the bed. And as you towered over me, I realized retribution was soon to be delivered upon my person.
And a sweeter retribution I could not imagine. It did not take you long to divest me of my clothing, and to remove the rest of your own.
And then you just stood there staring at me, until I began to squirm with anticipation. I did not give you quarter, therfore I would not beg for mercy. I didn't want it. I wanted to feel your sweet revenge upon me.
Slowly you joined me in this paradise we are creating, and you knelt before me, and slipped between my legs, spreading them to allow you access, and me, no retreat.
But you didn't even touch me in that place where I am burning so uncontrollably. No, you just kept advancing until your mouth covered mine completely, and just like I had done to you, you devoured me. Feasting upon each inch of my flesh that I had feasted upon you, but ever so slowly it seemed. I was a writhing mass of emotions and sensations.
And all I could do was offer you the same trust you had offered me. And I believe you enjoyed my vulnerabilty as much as I enjoyed yours. And so I freely allowed you to have your way with me also.
No resistance. And finally I felt your warm breath gently flowing over that part of me, fanning the flames of desire. But still you didn't touch me. I had been so enraptured by your passionate advance, my eyes had closed, and you were waiting for me to look at you.
It took me a moment to realize this, and when I did, my eyes met yours briefly, And I lost my soul to you. Quickly you dipped your head and I felt you kiss me there. You worshiped me, repeatedly. Bathing my tenderness with heat and finesse.
And I cried out with need over and over again, holding nothing back from you. But there was no release allowed.
Time and time again you brought me to the brink of eternal damnation, only to pause long enough to force my calmness again.
And I had never been tortured so lovingly before. And as I had lost my soul to you, I think I lost my mind and body during this. I could not tell where I ended and you began.
And when I thought that I could take no more, and was begging you to fullfill me completely, only then did you lift your head, and move to cover me.
I did not care what you did to me next, all I was aware of was the pulsing of my feminine core, the aching deep within, and the loss of your touch upon me. It felt like eternity had passed before you softly said my name, and my eyes slowly drifted open to meet yours.
Our gazes clashed with the force of our passion, and in that moment I knew I would love you forever. I cried out for you, begging you, and you answered with a swift flex of your hips.
And I was completely filled with you. But you didn't stop there. Continuously, and masterfully you drove me even further towards that final release. Until instinct took over and all there was left, was the crying out of two souls entwining, forged together by the heat and passion of our bodies.
And as I recover from my fevered imaginings, I begin to weep. Deep, harsh, longing wracking my body with such anguish, for you are not really here. And I am alone once again. And my Heart's Desire is denied yet again.
Even now, as I confess this most intimate of times, the tears slowly fall from my eyes, and I can barely see to write. And yet, still, my resolve to find you remains undimmed.
